Lord Alfred Tennyson once said, " 'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all". But having lost love(s) before, and suffering intensely over it, makes me think, is it better to be a "player" and plow the field of carnal pleasures?
Having the experience in exploring both worlds of casual fun and romantic love, i'm glad to say that i've set up camp at the field of passionate, yearning, heart-bursting love. It is so much more rewarding, and the carnal pleasures reaped from it yields passion in volumes; no wonder it is called making love rather than sex.
Having said all that, love hurts too. Sometimes in a good way, and sometimes in a bad way. The occasions when you miss someone so bad, the lump in your throat never goes away, and you get moist-eyed over sentimental things, are both the good and the bad at the same time. The good hurting comes when you think of the person you adore and having a secret smile moment that nobody knows about, but is extremely curious to find out, if they can. And the bad hurt? The Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance that comes from even hearing from the person who broke your heart.
But if that is the price to pay for love, then it better be worth it. Weighing love on the balancing scale of logic and truth shows that being cautious and guarded until the day you receive a firm commitment from the one you love in return is the wise thing to do. But that is so much easier said than done; when your heart bursts with joy, the wintry mood you've been in starts to grow milder and slowly melt into spring, and you realize, "Hey, i'm capable of loving again...". So, patience is a virtue, and a necessity for the time being.
It saddens me that some sacrifices are necessary in order to achieve end results. But then again, there is a saying that goes "No pain, no gain". Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes: "What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you." And what lies inside me is the persistence and determination to work it through, because of the promise of a better future that will come. Blind optimist fool i'm not, just a wisened up believer in that Love can and will conquer over all other things. Burnt fingers does not mean one shall stop playing with fire, because not all fires are destructive. The embers of passion that smoulder can turn into a warm, inviting fire that is long lasting.
But knowing whether or not the fire is of the right kind, and whether or not the net you cast out returns empty or filled, requires calculated risk taking. Having "Phoebe" moments sometimes assures and irks me - a part of me wants the instant gratification, and another part wants to take things slow and gentle. But that's because i'm a Lover, not a Fighter. But that doesn't mean i can't be a Fighter when the occasion rises.
Having said all that, it all boils down to whether or not both sides are willing to take the chance. And to my dear reader, this open letter is one of my replies to you. There are more, and there will be more coming, but not for the current time being. This one is enough for now. I'll be right here waiting, and meanwhile, continue to allow me to access your "Open to general public" parts. Don't withhold that from me.
Till the next post, farewell and see you soon...
No comments:
Post a Comment