(untitled...just a birthday posting)

Finally, the (dreaded?) moment has come and gone, and i've officially stepped into the 29th year of my existance. (30 if you count using chinese calendar). Whether i like it or not. As the seconds ticked past, marking the passing of midnight, strangely enough, i was neither thrilled nor depressed...just felt a wave of calmness washing over me. The realization dawned on me that it is another day (not just any, mind you), and so happened it is also the day on which yours truly was born (donkey years ago...or so it seems).

With another year tucked firmly under my belt, i can only look forward to the (unknown? exciting? unpredictable?) future and hope for the best, while keeping my head screwed on tight. Not to sound tired and jaded, but after learning life lessons, you can't help but to become wiser as you age and yet not remain as naive as before. So the safest bet would be to remain cautiously optimistic. Life's FAR too SHORT to not live it to the fullest potential (of course, within limitations and budget, etc, you get the idea...). And of course, to take things day by day.

Birthday wishes are always best kept privy, but to all readers, let me say this: Thank you again, for bringing value into my life, whichever phase it was in. As each of us pursues the race of life, it's always good to have fellow runners alongside, spurring each other on. And if our path sunders, then we need to pursue that road we must take. Of course, who knows if in the future, we may cross paths again?? It has truly been a priviledge for me to have known all of you, and for all the well wishes, THANK YOU from deep down my heart. It really touched me a lot to receive the messages :)

Here's to a fruitful friendship, and looking forward to more good times! Cheers everyone!

Objects in the rear view mirror may seem closer/further than it really is...

Was inspired by a looming deadline to name today's post as such...time flies so fast, it kinda caught me off guard. But all is good at the end of the day. *grin*

Looking back (yes it's something i'm quite fond of doing, you might have noticed by now) at the year(s) gone by, i'm glad to say that it's mostly been good. And even those not so good times, have been turned into lessons learnt and (hopefully) never repeated again.

It's strange how things you would have thought to be totally unsuitable for yourself several years ago, maybe the exact thing you desire at the moment (and vice-versa). So for that reason, never say never...you don't know when things may come back to haunt you :)

Personality wise, the years have been kind to me...am able to grow and mature (not fully, but getting there day by day). I'm much more vocal, brave, lucid/precise than before, while still maintaining a slight air of naïveté to boot. Compared to the days when i'd be mewling like a kitty cat, i can now ROAR with abandon...hahaha. (and coincidentally, it is the year of the Tiger too.)

Physically, i'm glad to say i'm getting healthier day by day too. The injuries are (very) slowly recovering, and although there will be some residual pain, i am learning to get them under control. Doing stuff i enjoy doing helps as well. Weight loss has helped to lessen the impact and pain, plus looking good does make me feel good too ;)

Coming back to the point, yes i have "evolved" in some areas of my life, some by choice, others by necessity, but they occur to improve my life, that's for sure. In other parts, i know who i am, and years have simply added age, wisdom, and strength (of will, body, mind) to me. Definitely no (or very little) regrets...and to quote one of my favourite songs, my best days are ahead of me. Amen to that! So, while being dissimilar to the younger version of myself, i do notice the similarities between my current version and my siblings & parents. For better or for worse. :P So there, objects in the rear view mirror can be deceptive. My true essence is retained, but with a new veneer to suit my stature and stage in life.

To everyone who has entered/left/remained in my life, THANK YOU for enriching me. I do hope that it was a 2 way enrichment process, and that good memories linger while the bad ones are forgotten/forgiven. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad.

Before i end, let me leave you with lyrics of Carrie Underwood's "So Small" - another one of my favourite inspirational songs (and it was covered by Matt Giraud in Season 8 of American Idol). Till the next time, adios!

VERSE 1:
What you got if you ain't got love
The kind that you just wanna give away
It's okay to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out
And just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

Chorus:
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
What you've been out there searching for forever,
Is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters, after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

VERSE 2:
It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big, at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole
While you're sittin round thinking about what you can't change
And worryin' about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count, cause you can't get it back

Head in the clouds(?!?)...

For the lack of a better title, i'm just naming this post based on how i felt when i saw and took the following pictures.






























Just love how blue the sky looks (in the first picture)...it brings much pleasure to see the simple things in life to remind you that there's always something new to discover (or re-discover) everyday. Not exactly the same as taking time to smell the roses, but more of appreciating the good details in your life. Like maybe a good breakfast, a warm cup of coffee/tea, meals that are just nice and suits your taste, a nice hot shower...stuff like that. And in this case, note the cloud formations. They reminded me of animal shapes (a bit). And it's always these little things that we often take for granted. There's been countless times while driving (and stuck in traffic jam), you can see things like this, but most oftenly are overlooked. But it's never too late because each and everyday is fresh and brand new (quote i often use, and picked up from a fav. movie).

On the other hand, family health issues had bugged me this weekend, and thankfully have been resolved by good doctors and nurses and hospital staff. Probably added to my white hair count as well, but i'm glad my old folks are okay and have their health problems under control. What a weekend! It probably shook me out from my "BLEURGH" (TM) mood too.

And as i type, each second/minute/hour ticks past, and brings me nearer to another end of a chapter. Am still feeling not ready for it, but using the same motto as Nike, "Just do it!" (TM). Yep, am going ahead and seeing what happens next...stay tuned for the next post. Till then, arrivederci/a bientot/see you soon...

Puo Chai Dang Zhai / Por Choy Dong Zoi...

Now, this probably would be the rare moment (the only time thus far?) that i am using a Chinese proverb/saying to blog on something. So, bear with me...

The above proverb means "Losing wealth to prevent calamity", and after hearing it from 3 different people, i do have to say i can take hints...so there you go, powers that be. I accept that the loss of something valuable to me is now inevitable. By the way, it was a beautiful gold ring topped with a piece of oval-ish jade. And i only have it immortalized in my memory (which will fade with time, of course). Right now i know that nothing i can do will bring it back, and whoever finds it is blessed (by me? LOL *fingers crossed and looking out for lightning strikes*). In life, one must always take the bitter with the sweet, and losing this ring is still a sore point for me. But if it's not meant to be mine, no matter how i try to hold on to it, it will not remain with me. While i had it, i had a good time wearing it :) and it did turn from a light-ish green to a somewhat apple-y shade of green. Shows i have an affinity for jade. Anyway...

Lesson learnt : BE. MORE. CAREFUL. WITH. YOUR. POSSESSIONS. PERIOD.

Rant over. And back to life as usual...

PS: Watched "It's Complicated". Meryl Streep + Alec Baldwin + Steve Martin = Superb Lead Cast! Really good movie too, imho.

Walk down memory lane @ 18 April 2010

Yes, as time passes by, i'm drawn to do some self-reflecting. Just a couple of weeks before another milestone is reached (thankfully, without needing major tune-ups). Was remembering the time i spent in London; watching theatres, shopping, walking, and generally having a good time. Something i should have done when i was there, was to watch the Royal Ballet performing.

While browsing through random youtube videos yesterday, i chanced upon this clip. It's one of 12 pieces of the Royal Ballet's production of Romeo and Juliet, starring Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nureyev. (Big big ballet stars, i wiki-ed them yesterday too..haha). They are so graceful on the stage...no wonder they're famous. Real good value entertainment.

Basically, the thing that impressed me was this. Life can be likened to a ballet (not always, mind you). In general, we go on doing our 'solos', but we do long for the 'pas de deux' that occurs from time to time. And if we're lucky, one of the 'pas de deux' can be an extended dance.

Well, this post is kinda melancholic, but i'm cautiously hopeful about the future. But till then, i'll just do my own thing and go on with life. Ahh...c'est la vie!

Just a quickie couplet i thought of this morning...

Was inspired by the view from my balcony while sipping my morning tea, and i came up with this couplet. It serves as a reminder (hopefully) to myself to appreciate each and every single day ;)

Spring is in the air ;
I can feel it everywhere ;

Though it maybe around the corner ;
But once it comes, budding seeds will start to flower ;

I am awaiting for something on the horizon ;
Meanwhile, i will stay to my mission(s) ;

To know who i really am, and what i can do ;
Everyday is always fresh, and there's always something to look forward to.

And now back to normal sleepy sunday mode :) Have a good day of rest...

The fragility of life...treasure every living moment you spend.

Was reading The Sun (free newspaper) this morning, and splashed across the front page was this headline " Abused toddler dies". Seriously a "downer" even before starting work. The story goes on to say that the 3yo toddler had a FRAIL body, which had more than 50 fresh and old BRUISES. OMG! Honestly, WHAT did the child do to deserve such treatment??

Reading more, doctors who examined Lee Swee Hui's body after pronouncing her death discovered that she had serious injuries on her forehead and fractures to her skull. Quelle horreur! WTF! That's a horrible way to die - haemorrhaging to death, bleeding internally. The animals who did this to her ought to be shot, hung, drowned, trampled by horses, quartered, and fed to tigers.

Here's an old Christmas carol classic, which i remembered after reading the whole story.

A ray of hope flickers in the sky
A tiny star lights up way up high
All across the land dawns a brand new morn
This comes to pass when a child is born

Yes, everything changes with the arrival of a newborn baby. Mostly, for the better. An innocent God-given life, ready to live this challenging life.

But sadly for Lee Swee Hui, her candle was snuffed out untimely. Way way way before she even had a chance to properly enjoy her childhood. RIP, Lee Swee Hui. You're in a far off better place right now. Without pain and fear.

Somehow, i feel that this sad story will repeat itself, with another young victim dying unnecessarily. Maybe compulsory parenting counselling during the pregnancy period and neo-natal stage would be wise to implement, just to make sure that this tragedy will not happen again. There's been 2 cases prior to this, involving another 3yo girl and a 18 months old baby. Either way, justice will be served eventually. And i'm all the more thankful that my parents did not abuse me.

And that's my rant done and over. Back to normal programming, folks!

Decades of your (my?) life...

A thought crossed into my mind as i drove home from dinner today. And here it is, in its unabridged form.

From 0 to 10 years old, it's the time for you to play.
From 11 to 20 years old, it's the time for you to learn.
From 21 to 30 years old, it's the time for you to make mistakes (and still learn from them).
From 31 to 40 years old, it's the time for you to drive your life forward and make the push to the top.
From 41 to 50 years old, it's the time for you to start coasting a little and enjoy little luxuries in life.
From 51 to 60 years old, it's the time for you to enjoy the respect you gain from being at the pinnacle of your life.
From 61 to 70 years old, it's the time for you to take things easy, and ease yourself gracefully into retirement.
From 71 to whatever age you live up to, it's the time for you to enjoy retired life and pass on sage advise about life to younger cikus.

Not very eloquent perhaps, but it's an honest thought. What do you think?

This is what i saw few days back...

Was out for lunch one day, and i felt the blazing sun searing my head and back. But guess what, i took a look up into the skies and saw the blue skies up ahead. Immediate reaction : "WOW". The feeling of freedom, more innocent younger days sprang to mind and heart. To be able to just lie back on a warm summery day, on a clear (and clean) field, and just relax and enjoy the time spent under the sun (literally) was so uplifting, i forgot about my immediate cares. The blueness of the skies was a good change from the hazy grey days KL is so famous about.








And to tie in the theme of freedom, celebrating life, here's a song that's been uplifting my mood in the mornings. It's by Danny Gokey, entitled "My Best Days Are Ahead of Me". And i truly believe, it is :) Hope you find it as inspiring as i did.




















Blowing out the candles on another birthday cake
Old enough to look back and laugh at my mistakes
Young enough to look at the future and like what I see
My best days are ahead of me

Life hasn't always been a party but mostly it's been good
There's only one or two things that I'd change if I could
I dont get lost in the past or get stuck in some sad memory yeah
My best days are ahead of me

Age is nothing but a number
Sometimes I have to wonder, what does it really mean
But hey I'm still putting it together
I keep getting better
if I keep getting better, I can be whatever I want to be
My best days are ahead of me

I've got sunsets to witness
Dreams to dance with
Beaches to walk on, and lovers to kiss
There's a whole lot of world out there that I can't wait to see
My best days are ahead of me
My best days are ahead of me

Ching Ming @ Chinese All Souls Day - 5th April 2010

The time has come again for the chinese faithful to do their obliged filial duty to parents, family members, and ancestors who have since passed on. In memoriam and to honour my grandparents on both sides, let this be a fond look back into my history.

Ah Por (Mum's Mother) :
Dearest Ah Por, my memories of you stretches back to my babyhood, childhood and young teens. I'll remember how you cooked in the kitchen, doing your magic on the food and kitchen utensils. The way you made pan mee seem so easy to make, and so delicious too. How you'd beat my arms and scold when i was stubborn and/or naughty. How you'd wipe my face clean after food and after coming back from school. How you mended each tear in my clothes with the needle and thread although your eyesight wasn't so good. And through all the time, i thought that you liked me less than my siblings. How mistaken i was. Seeing your face as you grew sicker and later on your deathbed, i wished that i could have done something to ease your suffering and pain. If only i studied medicine so i could heal you. All i can only hope for is that you rest in peace, and that you are comforted being reunited with Ah Kung and your family members in the afterlife.

Ah Kung (Mum's Father) :
Dear Ah Kung, i may have been too young to remember you in full, but one particular memory stands out like a beacon of light. How you'd rock me on your lap as you had your tea, played mahjong and smoked, all at the same time. And i'm sure that your love extended to one of your littlest grandkids; me. The stories that Ah Por told me, jie jie and kor kor about you would bring laughter to us, and i'm glad to have had you as a grandpa. How your chinese scholar stature brought respect to your family. As with Ah Por, may you be happy in the afterlife with your loved ones.

Nai Nai (Dad's Mother) :
Dear Nai Nai @ Grandma, you passed on when i was 9 or 10. I'd remember the times you'd give me extra pocket money from your marketing/grocery allowance. How you'd replenish my rice bowl with more rice when our family came over for dinner at your place. How you'd give me drinks from the fridge when mum and dad wasn't looking. How your favorite dish (fish) would be my favorite dish too. I'm grateful to also have you as a grandmother and that your love extended to me. Hope you're happily reunited with Yeh Yeh and your family members in the afterlife.

Yeh Yeh (Dad's Father) :
Yeh Yeh, my dear grandpa whom i didnt get to know properly. Only memory that remains is the legacy of the business you left behind to one of your sons. I really regret not having any fond thoughts about you, but i'm sure you loved all your grandkids. All other elder cousins do have good memories about you, so I'm sure you must have been a good granddad. Wishing that you and Nai Nai, and your other family members are together in the afterlife.

After all that rambling, it feels good to put all my fondest thoughts about my forebears into words. I can only hope that as i go along each day in my life, all of you are watching my steps, and continue to love and bless me from the other side. Your grandson here loves you, and misses you every now and then. I'll never forget my past, and how it has moulded and developed me into who i am today. Thank you for giving me my parents. Thanks be to God who plans and brings his plans to fruition as well. May You grant them a peaceful rest after their labours here on earth.