"Keep me hanging on". Good way to generate bad karma?

Set me free why don't-cha baby
Get out my life why don't-cha baby
Cause' you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on
(ohh ohh)
You don't really need me
But you keep me hangin' on
Why do you keep on comin' around
Playing with my heart
Why don't you get out of my life
And let me make a new start
Let me get over you
The way you've gotten over me
(hey)
Set me free why don't-cha baby
Let me be why don't-cha baby
Cause' you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on
(ohh ohh)
No you don't really want me
You just keep me hangin' on
You say though we broke up
You still wanna be just friends
But how can we still be friends
When seeing you only breaks my heart again
And there ain't nothing I can do about it
(Whoa whoa whoa)
Set me free why don't-cha baby
Get out my life why don't-cha baby
You don't really love me
But just keep me hangin' on
You claim you still care for me
But your heart still needs to be free
Now that you've got your freedom
You wanna still hold on to me
You don't want me for all yourself
So let me find somebody yes
(hey hey)
Why don't-cha be a man about it
And set me free
Now, you don't care a thing about me
You just use me
(ohh ohh)
Go on, get out, get out of my life
And let me sleep at night, please
Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on...

*Song originally sung by Diana Ross & The Supremes, and covered by Dianna Agron @ Quinn Fabray in Glee.

Who likes to be kept waiting and feel like there are issues "hanging on"? Nobody, i guess. It's unpleasant to experience, mainly because of the clouds of insecurity enveloping around yourself. Big enemy of rational thought. Ugh. Life without some curiosity can (or will?) be boring, but having too many unknown factors in deciding the outcome of an issue is undoubtedly a bigger cons than the familiar things you have in life.

To truly own yourself, there's the (neverending?) journey of self-discovery. Sometimes, shortcuts are allowed, but on rare occasions, it is better, if not imperative, that the long road must be taken. Adversity builds courage, strength and desire.

There's still a long way to meander on, but i musn't get ahead of myself. Right now, the only hanging on/hanging around i want to do is on my comfy bed. Being back in home environment is definitely a HUGE plus point. Can feel i'm returning to my usual self. Yay me. *rolls eyes*

Note: No, this is not related to any current issues in my life. Just a case of listening to iPod and hearing this song play that led to this post. that's all.

"I dreamed a dream"

No, i'm not going to start on the speech Martin Luther King gave in 1963. This is much, much more simple (and trivial, i might add). With my newly discovered "Gleek"iness, i've been indulging in some escapism from the mundane existance i have in my current "prison". By the way, am liking Idina Menzel and Lea Michelle's rendition of "I dreamed a dream"! Better than Susan Boyle's version (i think).



But before i get ahead of myself, the series got me thinking...we always seem to root naturally for the good guys etc. And if i'd want to play any character from Glee for example, i'd choose to be Mr. Schu or Finn. You know, the cool guy type. Is this nature's way of doing selection? To choose to be part of the "in" crowd?



Accepting ourselves as who we are is important in maintaining our persona, beliefs, and also keeping ourself grounded. Age does that by teaching us life lessons (and these are approved courses from the University of Hard Knocks...heheh). The way how the Glee kids keep going on (what with the regular slushie/slurpee facials and stuff) is admirable...if not oblivious to the fact that they don't seem to fit in naturally into other cliques. :P



And within the Glee kids group, there's the sub-grouping of popular kids: the cheerleaders and athletes who just happen to like singing or performing. And there's the remainder of the gang...the ones who by self-choice or by choice of other people, end up being outcasts. All of them (popular or not) have one thing in common - their passion for the performing arts.



Modern life also has similes/parallel examples. There's always the "happening" crowd who seems to do everything that is popular, and also there's the "loners" who mostly keep to themselves. Personally, i don't care for labels as such. Whatever makes you happy, that's the best choice for you to keep going on. Of course, the occasions when you're required to cooperate with others...take that opportunity to get out of your shell and broaden your horizons. Find the common factor that makes all of you tick. Life should always have friends whom you can lean on when you need to. Friends who can see your true colours, are kinda rare to have.

Besides than allowing myself the chance to gleek out, i'm in need to rethink some things over. Life is a stream of never-ending surprises. And sometimes, i need a break from them. Where is the remote control in life to pause certain moments?? (That's right...the character Adam Sandler played in Click has it. :P ) Imagine. The cool things i can do with it :P Won't need the rewind button (yes, i'm glad bygones are bygones).

So, here's a shout out to time...thanks for the past and wishing for better days ahead. That's all man can do. Hope.

And that's a wrap!

Coming to the end now...what's next?

Goodness, my stay in China is almost up. Just have 2 weeks and coupla more days to go before heading back to KL. This working visit sure has made me realize how much i like my homeground. At least most things that happen there are within expectations.

But to re-evaluate the entire trip up to date...it's been pretty ok i'd say. Being a city boy, and used to having my creature comforts and environment where i feel safe; to suddenly be put into a location where you experience sensory overload almost everyday just from having to translate and re-translate stuff...i'd rather have the same old boring stuff in exchange for all the culture shock. Can only be glad that i'm going home (cue "Home" from Buble or Daughtry...whichever you like. LOL)

I guess, the older you get, the more resistant you are to changes in life. Used to think i can adopt to foreign places pretty well, but somehow this time, i feel i'd rather choose the status quo. There's comfort in something familiar that you already know, and that compared to the (promisedly wonderful) unknown quantity awaiting, is definitely a huge advantage.

And to think that you've learnt life lessons from whatever has happened...well think again. There's more stuff to learn if you bother to take a second look. And nobody's perfect, especially yourself. Eating humble pie has never been so unappetizing...but it's good for ya!

Dear home...welcome me back. To be finally in someplace where i have my things in the exact place i put them...that's something i look forward to. Can't wait!

HK photoblog mid-June

First set of photos are taken in Lan Fong Yuen, Central, HK Island. The famous HK Milk Tea is shown (both hot and cold versions - having tried them, they're really milky sweet. Not with condensed milk, just fresh milk and sugar.) We also ate Chicken chop rice, Chicken chop noodles, and Macaroni in tomato stew with pork chop. I had the Chicken chop noodles. Nice, but nothing to shout about imho. Story about LFY is that it was in danger of having to move away from it's existing premises until the loyal customers rallied and helped to raise funds to secure rental or ownership of the shop. We ate at the "new" branch, few doors away from the original branch. Anyway i'm not too clear about the history, just remember bits and pieces from what my friends told me :P

Next set of photos are taken in Hui Lau San dessert shop. First photo shows bird's nest thong sui with fruit salad, Second photo shows coconut slivers in mango puree with side of fruit salad, and Third photo shows Mango pudding with fruit salad (top left) and Mango pudding with mango puree and sorbet (bottom right). I had the Mango pudding with mango puree and sorbet...let's say it was an overdose of mango. Besides mango-centric desserts, they do serve other types of hot and cold desserts too, and the chain branch where we had these is in Mongkok.

Photoblog #4 - Dim sum brunch in Shenzhen

After the walkabout in Hong Hu Garden, this was where me and my colleagues headed to for brunch; New Star Seafood Restaurant. It came highly recommended by colleagues who ate there before.


Chrysanthemum tea. RMB6 per head. There was a better grade of chrysanthemum but it was RMB12 per head. Am no tea connoisseur so we chose the cheaper grade. haha.


Pork porridge and "lor bak" cake (white radish cake?). Both were nicely scented with the aromatic smell and flavour of pork. YUM.



Some kind of char siew bao...but not the steamed or baked variety. This one came in a proper sticky bun. Not my favourite.



Custard bao...the piping hot filling spurted out a little when we opened the bao. Haha. Custard was savoury and fragrant. Best eaten hot.


Siu mai. Moist, flavourful, succulent pork topped with some fish roe in normal wantan wrapper. Also best eaten steaming hot.



Har Gow. This was a DISAPPOINTMENT. Looked so promising from the outside, smelt delicious, but one bite into it revealed less than firm/crunchy prawns. Not sure if it was the over-steaming or use of less than freshly caught prawns that made the difference. Prefer HK (and even Malaysian) Har Gow. Will try to have a HK dim sum photoblog sometime soon.



Dan Tat @ Egg tart. Filling was creamy, smooth, egg custardy and altogether tantalizing to the tastebuds. However, the skin/pastry was oily and slightly overpowered the delicate texture of the egg custard. Prefer the egg tart in HK (refer to recent post).


And...the result of the brunch? Empty plates and cups, full stomach, and the damage was only RMB 95. That's about RM 48. For the 7 dishes, not too bad i guess. But a weekend surcharge did apply on the bill, so it could have been cheaper if we went on a weekday morning.

If i were to rate the place, it would get 7/10 for food quality, 8/10 for service, 7/10 for ambience. It wasn't that easy to find the place, but after some searching, we found it. Just head to Shenzhen Metro (Dongmen) Lao Jie Station, Exit A. Come out, and look for the Holiday Villa Hotel. The entrance is somewhere around there. Can't miss it.

Photoblog #3 - Hong Hu Gardens, Shenzhen

Went with colleagues (they like taking pictures, have DSLRs, etc etc) to a local park in SZ, and armed with my new Samsung (yes, Samsung...i don't believe i bought a Samsung, but for the price...can't find anything like it in Malaysia. Panasonic and Sony are far too expensive in China.) 12.4Mpix digicam...i went along. And saw water lotus...not exactly my favourite activity, but got to spend time getting to know my colleagues. And managed to get some pictures, poetic or not. I particularly like the shot of the pink lotus, standing tall in the water. Can even see the reflection/shadow of the flower on the water surface. And a pic of me is shown too (photo taken down because i'm photo-lergic. So sue me.heheh). The Samsung digicam has 2 LCD screens, one in front and the normal at the back. Helps with self-portraits, thats for sure.

More updates coming soon, since i'm able to blog from within the Great (Fire)Wall of China. Yay! :)

Photoblog #2 (pics taken in HK 22-23 May 2010)

Mmm...yummy, warm, eggy, custardy egg tarts in Hong Kong. Nice with a cuppa coffee or the local milk tea. And there's two types of crust - pastry (flaky) and biscuit base. BOTH are good, imho. And they only cost HKD 2 each (which is less than RM 1 each). Wish i had Tong Kee egg tarts for parallel taste comparison...hahaha.

















These are pictures taken at Sheung Wan, near Central (Chung Wan). Shun Tak Centre is the hydrofoil ferry port to Macau from Hong Kong (but i think it's not the only one...correct me if i'm wrong). Visitors there, say hi to Stanley Ho alright? :P



















These two pics are taken on the same point, one looking to the left, and the other to the right of Causeway Bay. The SOGO departmental store is HUGE, and will make a visit later today. Along with the Landmark in Central, and of course, Tsim Sha Chui. SHOPPING MECCA...i've come to do my pilgrimage. LOL.


Bamboo scaffolding. Still used in HK and also China, and honestly, walking under them gives me the creeps...never know when any one bamboo will give way and... OSHA will have a field day with safety and health regulations if they saw people working on these scaffoldings.





IKEA...for real. Hello, civillization :) Don't feel so backward now, do i? haha. Too bad it's just home furnishings and not the complete superstore.


People in the local park, practising Kung Fu, Tai Chi, etc. HEALTHY lifestyle.



And for the fashionistas, here's a look at the LV Boutique in The Landmark, Central, HK. And this isn't the flagship. I think i saw the flagship in TST and it's IMPRESSIVE. LV @ Starhill, eat your heart out.

Life in Shenzhen so far...photoblog #1

By now, i've finished 2 weeks in Bantian, Longgang (i kid you not about the spelling), Shenzhen. To briefly describe how Bantian is, imagine Cyberjaya, with the entire population speaking in Mandarin/PutongHua. It's equally as isolated and insular, with a rather good public transport system (thankfully). So, taking advantage of the benefit of a good public transport system, i was in Shenzhen last weekend and in Hong Kong this weekend. Both breaks did me much good (in terms of boosting my morale...haha).

In Shenzhen (SZ), thanks to my dear relative, i have been able to escape from the dreary OILY food they serve everyday. The 2 pics on the left side are of a white pepper chicken/pork soup that i had last weekend. It was spicy without overpowering my tastebuds and tongue. Of course, the extra induced perspiration combined with the hot and wet weather did make me feel hot under the collar ;) don't think we have something like it in Malaysia.























The 4 pics above shows other things in SZ i notice. Coconut water..missed it in KL before coming to SZ but had my fix in Luohu (border city between HK and SZ). Mangosteens (yes! grown in China, but don't know how it tastes like) are sold here too. BUT the thing that amazed me was the size of the onions...HUGE, in comparison to our normal 'bawang merah' in Malaysia. Wonder what miracle fertilizer was used to make them grow so big...but then again, being China, i think i rather not know...hahaha. And the melons too...maybe smaller than our melons back home but they're solid. And a cluster of them placed together brings to mind something a little more salacious, but let's not go there, shall we? ;)




















Also in SZ, there's chicken rice (ubiquitous food, true) and the usual roast duck, char siew and siew yoke on sale, near the hotel i stay in Bantian. There's a story behind it, but in short, yours truly nearly got ripped off by a cute girl who thinks i was BLIND and incapable of reading chinese characters. The picture of the chicken rice (packed) was my lunch and had some extra for that day, and it cost RMB15 (approx RM7.50). OMG! i could get chicken rice from my aunt for FOC, and it does taste better :) Guess when you have the craving, it just needs to be satisfied and taken care of :P

1st week in Shenzhen...

Let's see...what can i say about my first week? Besides the work and learning new stuff, i'm actually hating it. Seriously. FB, Blogger, Youtube and other social networking sites are BANNED. 'Nuff said.

Having a mentor to guide me thru my new job is good...until the language barrier pops up (and it happens frequently). And although you're not supposed to correct your mentor or anyone who's supposed to teach you something, i just can't help but to (automatically) correct his English. GAWD! the linguistic capability of locals here really leaves much to be desired. But on the bright side, there are HOWLERS that leave me absolutely speechless (because of extreme 'duh'ness and/or mistranslation). HAHAHA. Sometimes you just need to leave your station/cubicle in the office just to let it (laughter) RIP...and yes, i have been stared at for laughing at myself in the toilet, while washing my hands. HAHAHA.

Food here also is very different from KL/Malaysia standards, and although it's cheap, but i find myself missing my usual sandwiches/salads/sushi and STARBUCKS. Tell you what, the first sight of Starbucks in Shenzhen left me almost crying for joy. LOL. There is a God in this universe :)

One thing i disagree with is the concept of "Life = Work, Work = Life" that is practiced here by the locals (either young or old). But understanding the logic behind that concept is this - there are PLENTY of people waiting to take up the job that one local is in, so to support themselves and/or their family, they (the locals) are stuck with their jobs. But come on! There's more to life than just talking about work work work during office hours. Where's the human element? (by the way, all conversations in office take place in Mandarin, not my most proficient language).

As for the promised photo blog, due to the unexpected (honestly!) boo-boo on my part for assuming (shouldn't have done that) that FB and Blogger would be available in China; i'm currently FB/Blog/Youtube-less and life's an absolute bore! I'll go to HK to access all 3 sites so just be patient. I do have some pics waiting to be uploaded.

And since i'm using a relative's laptop to blog/FB/etc, i should be more time conscious to finish ASAP and will continue at a later date (next weekend definitely). Till then...

Be Good! :)

sorry for the interruption to scheduled broadcast...

hey there, i'm in the middle of preparing for a trip overseas (work related) and need to devote time to settle all last minute issues. once i'm settled again, this blog should be a photoblog of sorts. i am looking forward to this trip, and hope that you can share in my joy and happiness. wish me luck people! i will be back in couple of months time.

till the next update, jai jian...

The bane that is fast food...

Was coming out from gym earlier today, when i spotted this huge banner advertising the current McDonald's promotion - McValue Doubles. Essentially double the original burger but not double the meal price. All i could do was to shake my head and wonder how much more people will be tricked into buying this deal for the apparent savings (eat more for less).

The reason behind today's rant is actually the increasing rate of obesity among Malaysian people. Sedentary lifestyle, coupled with "attractive" dining offers is a lethal combination. Go on, take a look everywhere. Every 1 in 5 people i spot in shopping malls happen to have a noticeably large belly/tummy, male or female. And i'm not talking about pregnant women at all. It's just sad that people are not too health conscious anymore, and are gorging on all these "empty" calories. Biggest culprit : French Fries and any kind of cola/fizzy drinks. It's fine if you eat fast food once in a while to satisfy your craving, but every other day? Gawd...i shudder to think how much the liver and heart and body would need to work to detox and recover from the oily, msg-laden, junk food that was consumed.

Ever since last November after my op, i've been on the look out for my health, and am taking good care of it now. (After about 15-20 years of neglect?). And it is paying off...i'm sleeping better, my trousers measurement have officially dropped a size, my clothes fit better than before, i'm no longer breathless after a session at gym and/or dance class, and i get sick less often. Now the crucial part is the maintenance. Thank goodness i'm not into fast food anymore, am more picky with food, have a smaller appetite, and love salads again. (Try Marmalade in BV2, any Delicious, Alexis bistro/cafe and you'll get my drift). YUMS!

How i wish i can pass along the gospel of healthy eating, but that is subject to everyone's desire to take care of themself. There is a saying that goes, "You are what you eat/read/etc etc". And yes, i do believe that whatever you input into yourself, will cause an output to be generated. So, good input leads to good output. And i can influence my immediate family's dietary practises ;) which is a good thing...now, i just need to satisfy my craving for really good hokkien char/hokkien mee. With fried pork lard. Oh YUM! (then after that, need to work out for 3 days in a row to burn off that unnecessary food intake. LOL)

Ok, rant over, and we're back to normal scheduled programming...

(untitled...just a birthday posting)

Finally, the (dreaded?) moment has come and gone, and i've officially stepped into the 29th year of my existance. (30 if you count using chinese calendar). Whether i like it or not. As the seconds ticked past, marking the passing of midnight, strangely enough, i was neither thrilled nor depressed...just felt a wave of calmness washing over me. The realization dawned on me that it is another day (not just any, mind you), and so happened it is also the day on which yours truly was born (donkey years ago...or so it seems).

With another year tucked firmly under my belt, i can only look forward to the (unknown? exciting? unpredictable?) future and hope for the best, while keeping my head screwed on tight. Not to sound tired and jaded, but after learning life lessons, you can't help but to become wiser as you age and yet not remain as naive as before. So the safest bet would be to remain cautiously optimistic. Life's FAR too SHORT to not live it to the fullest potential (of course, within limitations and budget, etc, you get the idea...). And of course, to take things day by day.

Birthday wishes are always best kept privy, but to all readers, let me say this: Thank you again, for bringing value into my life, whichever phase it was in. As each of us pursues the race of life, it's always good to have fellow runners alongside, spurring each other on. And if our path sunders, then we need to pursue that road we must take. Of course, who knows if in the future, we may cross paths again?? It has truly been a priviledge for me to have known all of you, and for all the well wishes, THANK YOU from deep down my heart. It really touched me a lot to receive the messages :)

Here's to a fruitful friendship, and looking forward to more good times! Cheers everyone!

Objects in the rear view mirror may seem closer/further than it really is...

Was inspired by a looming deadline to name today's post as such...time flies so fast, it kinda caught me off guard. But all is good at the end of the day. *grin*

Looking back (yes it's something i'm quite fond of doing, you might have noticed by now) at the year(s) gone by, i'm glad to say that it's mostly been good. And even those not so good times, have been turned into lessons learnt and (hopefully) never repeated again.

It's strange how things you would have thought to be totally unsuitable for yourself several years ago, maybe the exact thing you desire at the moment (and vice-versa). So for that reason, never say never...you don't know when things may come back to haunt you :)

Personality wise, the years have been kind to me...am able to grow and mature (not fully, but getting there day by day). I'm much more vocal, brave, lucid/precise than before, while still maintaining a slight air of naïveté to boot. Compared to the days when i'd be mewling like a kitty cat, i can now ROAR with abandon...hahaha. (and coincidentally, it is the year of the Tiger too.)

Physically, i'm glad to say i'm getting healthier day by day too. The injuries are (very) slowly recovering, and although there will be some residual pain, i am learning to get them under control. Doing stuff i enjoy doing helps as well. Weight loss has helped to lessen the impact and pain, plus looking good does make me feel good too ;)

Coming back to the point, yes i have "evolved" in some areas of my life, some by choice, others by necessity, but they occur to improve my life, that's for sure. In other parts, i know who i am, and years have simply added age, wisdom, and strength (of will, body, mind) to me. Definitely no (or very little) regrets...and to quote one of my favourite songs, my best days are ahead of me. Amen to that! So, while being dissimilar to the younger version of myself, i do notice the similarities between my current version and my siblings & parents. For better or for worse. :P So there, objects in the rear view mirror can be deceptive. My true essence is retained, but with a new veneer to suit my stature and stage in life.

To everyone who has entered/left/remained in my life, THANK YOU for enriching me. I do hope that it was a 2 way enrichment process, and that good memories linger while the bad ones are forgotten/forgiven. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad.

Before i end, let me leave you with lyrics of Carrie Underwood's "So Small" - another one of my favourite inspirational songs (and it was covered by Matt Giraud in Season 8 of American Idol). Till the next time, adios!

VERSE 1:
What you got if you ain't got love
The kind that you just wanna give away
It's okay to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out
And just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

Chorus:
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
What you've been out there searching for forever,
Is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters, after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

VERSE 2:
It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big, at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole
While you're sittin round thinking about what you can't change
And worryin' about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count, cause you can't get it back

Head in the clouds(?!?)...

For the lack of a better title, i'm just naming this post based on how i felt when i saw and took the following pictures.






























Just love how blue the sky looks (in the first picture)...it brings much pleasure to see the simple things in life to remind you that there's always something new to discover (or re-discover) everyday. Not exactly the same as taking time to smell the roses, but more of appreciating the good details in your life. Like maybe a good breakfast, a warm cup of coffee/tea, meals that are just nice and suits your taste, a nice hot shower...stuff like that. And in this case, note the cloud formations. They reminded me of animal shapes (a bit). And it's always these little things that we often take for granted. There's been countless times while driving (and stuck in traffic jam), you can see things like this, but most oftenly are overlooked. But it's never too late because each and everyday is fresh and brand new (quote i often use, and picked up from a fav. movie).

On the other hand, family health issues had bugged me this weekend, and thankfully have been resolved by good doctors and nurses and hospital staff. Probably added to my white hair count as well, but i'm glad my old folks are okay and have their health problems under control. What a weekend! It probably shook me out from my "BLEURGH" (TM) mood too.

And as i type, each second/minute/hour ticks past, and brings me nearer to another end of a chapter. Am still feeling not ready for it, but using the same motto as Nike, "Just do it!" (TM). Yep, am going ahead and seeing what happens next...stay tuned for the next post. Till then, arrivederci/a bientot/see you soon...